The fall colors in New Hampshire must be seen. That’s what everyone told us. So, in October of 2023, my husband and I loaded the RV and headed to New Hampshire. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Looking at the leaves as we traveled brought to mind the colors in Idaho when photosynthesis works its magic on the trees — with one difference.
Idaho’s forests are predominately populated by evergreens and seasoned with deciduous trees intermittently. So when the air turns chilly, most of the countryside is green with patches of color. The scene was different on the east coast where the mountains are primarily adorned with leafy trees. The hills become a canvas covered with cheerful yellows, warm shades of orange, earthy, cozy, inviting browns and vibrant reds mixed with shades of green.
In my mind, I began to revisit the lectures of science teachers who explained how chlorophyll functions during photosynthesis. When the temperatures decrease, trees see less sunlight causing the chlorophyll to break down and reveal other pigments that are in the leaves but not seen because of the vibrant greens. Science is fascinating and I remain amazed at how changes in nature happen every year as the process repeats.
Though science holds interest, literature is my passion. Thus, the poem, The Girl, by Ezra Pound forced my thoughts in a different direction.
A Girl by Ezra Pound
The tree has entered my hands,
The sap has ascended my arms,
The tree has grown in my breast-
Downward,
The branches grow out of me, like arms.
Tree you are,
Moss you are,
You are violets with wind above them.
A child - so high - you are,
And all this is folly to the world.
I am aging like a tree!
I have exerted major amounts of energy to survive this life. Just as the colors of an autumn leaf require work, it wasn’t easy getting to my age. I have lived through the springs when I learned to walk, talk, and rebel. In the summer, I met my loving husband, gave birth to children, found a career that fed my spirit and experienced moments that I didn’t know would become cherished memories.
In reflection, when my highlight reel plays in my head the simple events appear and activate my emotions: when Kat, our five-year-old, turned the doorknob and entered the bathroom to introduce me to her friend while I sat in the bathtub, the moments Kari held my hand to offer encouragement, the backrubs Dad shared as I laid my head on his lap, and the many times Mom pushed my hair behind my ears so she could dry my tears.
In Robert Frost’s poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay,” he focuses on how life is ever changing.
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
The poem suggests that just as the golden hue of a leaf fades away, so do moments of purity and innocence. As autumn leaves transform from vibrant colors to earthy browns, Frost reminds me that we live a life of constant change. As the green pigments in the leaves fade I am reminded of how the same happens in life.
I have often looked at people’s hands and marveled at their power. Now as I look at my hands, I think I have entered a new season—fall. With age, they have lost fat, elasticity, and volume. The translucent skin reveals bluish veins underneath that can not hide anymore. They spread across the back of my hands like spider webs. Wrinkles are becoming more defined and brown age spots speckle the surface.
I don’t think I could choose a favorite season of my life because each offered opportunities for me to bloom and regenerate. Even as autumn approaches, I am excited to begin a new phase—retirement. There was a time when my image in the mirror caused angst but that was before I discovered the beauty of age, before I understood how my body’s changes defined my identity, before I realized how lucky I am to be alive and thriving at 61.
I once wished that summer would remain all year long because I wanted to play outside barefoot. However, age has taught me to appreciate everything life has to offer and to welcome change and all it has to offer.
Beautiful!